The Stapler

My second day at Neverland, Thing 2 comes over to my cube and hands me one of those heavy duty staplers. Naturally I think of the old cult classic Office Space and the guy who gets moved all over the cube world and just wants his stapler… so I’m not sure if this is a joke or not. Thing 2 goes on to explain that he’d already ordered one but then got this from the desk of a former member of the ES group. I thanked him and put it in my desk, figuring I don’t need my own heavy duty stapler since there’s a shared one in the supply room, but what the heck.

A few days later, Thing 2 stopped by my cube to show me his new stapler. And what a stapler it is! As he’s showing me, he’s excitedly explaining that it staples 60 pages, I mean, 60 pages!! I refrained from asking how often he thinks he’ll need to staple 60 pages and just showed enthusiasm for the stapler. When Thing 2 moved to the Coliseum, he proudly arranged the new stapler on his desk. Moments after arrival, his sister (Foo Foo the Snoo) stops by to see his new spot (she’s now across the hall from us, which makes for some entertaining brother-sister bickering). She’s like “What on earth is that huge stapler for?” Thing 2: Isn’t it awesome? Look, it’s so great, it staples 60 pages with no effort at all. Watch. (I hear stapling through my cube wall). Foo Foo was skeptical and made some comment about not believing he’d ordered his own huge stapler.

A few hours later, The Cat in the Hat stops by to see how the move went and if we’re all set up down in the coliseum. He also notices the huge stapler and comments, “Woah, that’s quite a stapler!” Thing 2: “Yeah, check this out! It’s got a 60 page capacity and it makes it soooo easy, just watch (more stapling sounds).” The Cat in the Hat makes some comment about him being all set if he ever has to staple large quantities of paper.

Within an hour, Red stops by from across the hall… and, yup, you guessed it, she also asks about the stapler, and I heard another rendition of the glories of the heavy duty stapler.

Good thing we’ve got dividing walls between our cubes or he would have seen me busting up at my desk. At least I know where to go if I have to staple 60 pages “with almost no effort!” … and I do feel a prank coming on…

2 thoughts on “The Stapler

  1. Very funny, Reen. I suppose there are worse things than a stapler obsession, but I suspect you’ve seen only the tip of the iceberg with Thing 2’s obsessions…

    Aunt Marie

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