Spring is here

Dear Wabbits,

I just think you should know, of all the yards in the neighborhood you can access, this is the yard to avoid. Although I have tasty tulips in the backyard garden, it just isn’t worth the risk. Besides, though there area a few meager tulips back there, there’s also winterized and encrusted doggie poopie you’ll have to walk around. And, worse than that, there are two enormous, vicious black dogs waiting to eat you.

You may think you are fast. You may think you are sneaky. You may think the dogs aren’t out all the time. But Maggie thinks you are a snack. And Maggie thinks you are tasty. And Suzie thinks you are fun to chase. And Maggie really doesn’t like to be wrong. And Suzie is faster than you’d think.
I think that you should know, historically speaking, though not always friendly, Maggie is quite good at making wabbits into snacks. Tasty, tasty snacks. And Suze doesn’t mess around. She’ll grab you, shake you, and that’s it, you’re done.

Furthermore, I do not enjoy cleaning your chewed and mutilated carcasses out of my yard. Or post-digested wabbit off the floor in the house. Or small fur bits from the four corners of the yard. And frankly seeing Maggie chewing a wabbit carcass makes me never want to let her touch me with that face again. Ever.

So do us all a favor and avoid this house, this yard, and those tulips. It just isn’t worth it.


The Management

4 thoughts on “Spring is here

  1. The season of gore has definitely begun. Maggie had a “snack” over the weekend which she vomitted everywhere for my housemate (since I was out of town) and I had the distinct pleasure of cleaning of cleaning up the remains. Made me want to vomit too.

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