The last few weeks I have somehow fallen off the track. Track? you ask, what track? No, Betsy, this track has nothing to do with the tracks you used to have. For several years now I make it a point to wake up early to get to morning Mass (6.45 am) every week day except Friday (i usually go to the 5.30 pm Mass on Fridays). Daily Mass is such an incredible gift and it really does give me the grace to keep going, one day at a time, one moment at a time. I know myself and my job well enough to realize that if I don’t get to Mass to start off the day, I won’t make it. My dad gets to noon Mass regularly, but I never seem to get out the door to make that happen. and a 5.00 pm doesn’t work well either since that means wrapping up the day and being out of work by 4.40, which never happens. My best bet is getting up early and giving God the first hour of my day, before everything else crowds for attention. And once I’ve given God that first hour (usually the hardest one for me), its easier to let Him handle the rest of the hours that follow.
Anyway, the last few weeks I’ve somehow fallen into the bad habit of turning off my alarm and getting another hour of sleep instead of getting up and making it to Mass. It started with my sore back causing excruciating pain when i woke up, but that is mostly better now and it just started to be a habit- letting the tiredness win and missing out on the best part of my day and my life. Frankly, my life really doesn’t work so well for me when i don’t get to daily Mass. The last few weeks I’ve struggled with depression, hopelessness, and extreme distraction… and it wasn’t until yesterday that i really put two and two together and realized that a huge part of that is that I haven’t been getting to Mass. What can i say, I’m addicted and this withdrawal is awful.
Yesterday I was reading “Pray and Never Lose Heart” by Sr Ann Shields, who was talking about setting aside time to pray and never being so busy that you don’t take the time to pray. And I was convicted again and decided October 1st was a good day to get back on track- not only is it a new month, but its also the feast of St Therese, my patron saint. So this morning, although I was running late (still gotta get all the way back on track I guess), I made it to Mass… and it was good. And now I’m ready for the day… St Therese, pray for us.